


small beginnings

by CapnWinghead



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Riding, Shower Sex, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 06:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnWinghead/pseuds/CapnWinghead
Summary: When the team reunites on the search to find Loki's scepter, Thor takes a very special interest in Steve.





	small beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for additional notes.
> 
> So, this is my very first foray into writing this pairing. I fell into it while writing a Steve/Tony fic wherein Tony mistakenly thinks Steve and Thor are having an affair. In the midst of writing that, I found that the concept of Steve actually being with Thor intrigued me. I wanted to explore how that might happen and this pretty lengthy fic happened. So, I hope you all like it!
> 
> Drop me a line and let me know what you think!
> 
> By the way, "Why Hide" by Mark Ronson and Diana Gordon is surprisingly appropo for this story.

As far as the future went, Steve would probably say the showers were his favorite part.

Scalding hot with water pressure that stood the test of ten, twenty, thirty-minute showers, if need be. Not that he ever indulged for so long, but it was nice to have. Every Avengers suite came with an attached bathroom, but Stark had equipped the gym level with a group shower, full of waist height stalls. Most of the time, Steve made it up to his room to shower, but on this day, he’d figured it easier to use the shower on this floor.

When he entered, he heard the sound of running water. He found Thor standing in the stall at the end, his head tilted back as the water ran over his head, blond hair trailing down his back. His biceps tensed as he ran his fingers through it, his stomach tensing as he shifted in place. Swallowing nervously, Steve felt that familiar heat filling his cheeks as he gripped his towel, frozen in place.

Thor was rather fair skinned, dark pink nipples drawing Steve’s gaze. Light blond hair covered his chest, matted down from the water. As he turned, Steve caught sight of the trail of hair leading down to his groin. Rivulets of water followed the path as Steve watched helplessly, his stomach tightening jealously.

Finally, he forced eyes downward and took the stall nearest to the door.

Thor was beautiful man. Steve had always known that.

It wasn’t a competition. While he knew others certainly found him easy on the eyes, he was very much aware of the differences between his body and Thor’s. Thor’s shoulders were broader, his stomach a bit leaner and his thighs were a bit thicker than Steve’s. His biceps were bigger, a visual sign of how much stronger he was compared to Steve.

When they’d met, Steve hadn’t had the time to ruminate over all the differences between them. Even knowing he looked nothing like the way he used to before the serum, Steve still felt that same self-conscious doubt when he’d stood beside people like Bucky or Jones in the Commandos. His mind catalogued all the features they had that he didn’t and reminded him of that fact in a constant barrage of all the reasons he shouldn’t feel good about himself.

It was jealousy that drew his eyes to Thor’s body, his fierce blue eyes and soft blond hair. It was the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head.

That’s all it was.

+

The team had gone their separate ways after the Chitauri.

Nat and Clint went god knows where before returning to work for SHIELD. Bruce disappeared into anonymity again. Stark returned to the Tower. Steve went on his road trip to rediscover America. Thor returned to Asgard.

The scepter brought everyone back.

Thor didn’t want to leave any loose ends from his brother’s plot – and there was the matter of the stone that powered it. As a result, the Avengers reunited to search the globe and track down the scepter. It meant moving into the Tower and trying to get used to this whole team thing. None of the others were all that used to the concept. Clint and Nat knew how to work with each other – but they weren’t great at groups. Neither was Stark. Thor had worked with a team, but he’d been in charge. He didn’t seem all that fond of taking orders.

Stark tried to force it – team movie nights and game nights and outings on the town. Steve understood that he meant well, but it was hard for Steve to adjust to something so temporary. This wasn’t like his time with the Commandos. They’d find the scepter, they’d find a way to agree on what to do with it and they would go their separate ways. Steve didn’t need to get attached. It was better this way. He would only let them down.

But he played along, kept showing up.

He moved into the room on one of the upper levels and kept it sparsely decorated. It was down the hall from the others in case they needed him. It meant he ran into them quite a bit. Clint coming back from the archery range, Natasha coming back from debriefs on the Helicarrier, Tony coming up from the lab and Bruce coming back from his rare trips into the city to meet with Betty. Sometimes, he ran into Thor coming back from trips home or to New Mexico or from the gym, shirtless and dripping with sweat. Steve kept his distance and kept his eyes safely on Thor’s face.

Now, the team had gathered on the balcony for dinner.

Thor had developed a fondness for Midgardian wines, as he called them. Clad in a red velvet blazer as he leaned back in his chair, he sipped from his glass slowly and watched the others speak quietly amongst themselves. Natasha and Tony were wrapped in a debate about over whether or not Tony deserved a higher place on the list of New York’s most eligible bachelors. Bruce and Clint were having a strangely animated conversation about the Clone Wars – most of which went right over Steve’s head. And Thor’s, as well, by the looks of it.

A finger traced over a plush bottom lip, a small quirk in the corner. They looked unusually soft, a darker shade of red from the wine. Steve imagined they would taste of the wine, as well. When his gaze lifted, he found Thor watching him curiously.

Rubbing tiredly at his eyes, Steve tried to focus on his food. His mind was clouded with everything he had left to do when he left the table. Mission reports to proof; after Clint’s last batch resulted in Steve essentially having to redo all of them when they didn’t pass Fury’s muster. Steve hadn’t complained – he knew Clint was used to having Coulson as his handler. After the reports, he’d have to do an equipment check, repair any tears in his uniform, run the usual scans for suspicious activity and check in with Sam on his search. And then, if he had time, he’d try to fit in an hour or two of sleep.

To tell the truth, Steve was exhausted.

Running himself ragged trying to lead the team, search for Loki’s scepter and search for Bucky. It had been too much and he delegated the latter to Sam, but the rest weighed heavily on his shoulders. With no real leads, he couldn’t very well turn down the few missions Agent May tossed his way. They didn’t have the men – at least, not the men they could trust and it was for the greater good. Steve may not believe in SHIELD, but he believed in people. There was still work to be done.

Months of this and Steve had begun to wonder if he might have taken on too much.

He played with his pasta for a few seconds, debating dipping out early so he could guarantee a few hours of shut eye tonight. He set his fork down and looked up to find Thor watching him silently. His heart skipped a beat. Had the blond had ever stopped?

“Going somewhere?” Thor asked.

“Just calling it a bit early.”

“You look tired.” His head cocked to the side. “But you’re not going to sleep, are you?”

“Not yet.” He frowned. “Do I need your permission to leave the table?”

Thor’s eyes glimmered in amusement as he leaned forward. “You might.” He glanced at the others, setting his glass down. “You need to learn to relax.”

“I do just fine.”

“You look rather stressed, Captain.”

“I’m fine,” Steve said firmly.

“I could help you.”

Steve took in Thor’s open face and felt his own warm a bit. It seemed an honest offer. “If I need a break, I can catch a ball game or go see a movie.”

“That’s not what I have in mind.” He took another sip from the glass, blond lashes fluttering.

Mouth dry, Steve picked up his bottle of beer. As he sipped, the rim of the bottle pressed against his lips as Thor’s gaze fell to them, darkening in the low light on the balcony. Steve stomach tightened nervously as he swallowed. Thor’s eyes returned to his, unreadable as he waited patiently for Steve to respond.

Steve wasn’t entirely sure why, but he found himself agreeing. “Fine. I’ll give it a shot.”

+

Thor’s feet moved quietly across the mats, bare chested as he tied his hair back. It was longer now than it had been the first time Steve met him. Uncommon, even in New York City, but it suited him – a few braids mixed in with loose locks. He came to a stop in front of Steve, a challenge in his eyes.

“Ready?”

“This is hardly my first-time sparring.”

“It’s your first time with me.” His smile widened. “I think I might present more of a challenge than you’re used to.”

“I’ve brought down bigger men than you.”

Thor’s eyes glittered in response. “I’m sure you have.”

Almost too fast for Steve to follow, Thor’s arm shot forward, nearly glancing off of Steve’s shoulder. He veered back, his feet moving softly across the mat. Thor followed up with another strike, charging forward and forcing Steve to move across the mat. Forcing Steve on the defensive, taking playful jabs at him. It was persistent. It was annoying.

It was fun.

“You know why I don’t take orders from you?”

“Because I’m a peasant?” He bounced backwards, landing on his back and righting himself quickly as Thor advanced.

“You’re too stiff,” Thor replied, nearly catching Steve in his grip.

“You don’t like me because I’m not fun to be around?”

“It’s not about fun -- it’s about trust. You don’t trust me – I don’t trust you.” He feinted, stepping forward and quickly hooking his arm around Steve’s waist. It was embarrassingly easy for him to take Steve’s weight, lifting him briefly before he brought him down. Back slamming into the mat as Thor came down on him, his thighs spread on either side of him.

Winded, Steve stared up at him, feeling the brunt of Thor’s weight, his hands coming down on either side of his head. He was such a big presence – the scent of him nearly overwhelming. It was hard not to imagine Steve finding himself here under different circumstances. Powerless, his body started to react to the contact, even as he willed himself to focus. Blue eyes found his, teasing and bright as Thor gazed down at him. Steve’s heart beat fast in his chest as he waited.

“We have to work together. So, you need to learn to trust me.”

Steve licked his lips, his words firm. “Trust is earned.”

Thor held his gaze silently for a moment before nodding once. He leaned back, resting his hands on his hips, a grin on his face. “Getting tired yet?”

“Nope,” Steve replied, staring up at him. “You?”

“I’ve fought battles that lasted years.”

“Which tells me you must’ve been pretty bad at ending them.”

Thor laughed, a warm sound that filled the room. He stood up, reaching out a hand to help Steve up. “Let’s go again.”

+

Steve slept better that night than he had in ages. When he saw Thor the next morning, the blond grinned rather smugly, sliding past Steve and sipping his coffee.

Steve didn’t even have it in him to be upset about it.

+

Thor seemed to thrive on touch.

It drove Steve crazy.

He was always ready with a friendly pat on the back or arm around the shoulders. A hand on Steve’s waist to move him aside when he wanted a mug from the cupboard. A hand on the back of Steve’s neck when he shared a joke. Each time, Steve’s pulse ticked up a bit, a nervous quelling in his stomach. Face burning, tongue tied and dumb.

Quite simply put, Steve wasn’t all that used to being touched. Before, only Bucky and his fellow Commandos had touched him in kind. Even then, it hadn’t had this sort of effect on Steve. Thor’s touch left him flustered and overly warm. And wanting more of it.

His hands were so large and encompassing, the control readily apparent. It wouldn’t take much for him to guide Steve, to simply place him where he wanted him to be. Depending on the hour, Thor often forgot that, gently moving Steve out of his way effortlessly. The first time, Steve’s heart leapt in his throat, frozen against the kitchen counter. Thor sipped a bottle of water, his head tossed back as he swallowed. Steve had watched a bead of water slide down his throat, a tendril of heat coiling, spreading and burning him up from the inside. He’d never forgotten that feeling: Thor’s hands on him, feeling weightless and out of control.

It was safer to keep his distance… but Thor was so nice.

He invited Steve along to explore restaurants in the city and joined him for some of Steve’s least entertaining chores. He’d taken an interest in Steve that he didn’t quite understand, but he was grateful of it. It made it easier to take his mind off of all the things he couldn’t control. And since they’d begun sparring, Steve had never slept better.

So, if Thor’s fingers brushed his when reaching for the coffee pot, Steve would pay it no mind. If he pressed against Steve at the kitchen counter reaching into the cabinets instead of asking Steve to move, it was simply a sign of how comfortable he’d become with the team. And if Thor’s hand fell to Steve’s thigh when he was laughing at a particularly funny anecdote, Steve paid it no mind.

+

“You’ve moved on to trying to teach me self-defense?” Steve asked doubtfully.

Thor came to stand behind him, his scent bringing that familiar warmth to Steve’s cheeks. Thor smelled musky and strong, distinct and alluring. Steve could only imagine what it would be like to bury his nose in Thor’s neck and breathe him in. He kept still as Thor spoke, his voice rumbling through Steve’s body.

“Your knowledge is rather limited, don’t you think?” Steve swallowed, stiffening as Thor placed a hand on his hip, his voice lowering as he leaned in closer. His breath warm on the nape of Steve’s neck as he spoke, “You need to loosen up. You’re too stiff.”

His hand slid down to Steve’s thigh, his fingers curling inward. “Your power should come from here.”

Shivering, Steve complied as Thor walked him through the motion, his voice steady and calm. As they moved, it grew breathier, just a bit of edge to it as his hand landed on Steve’s waist, sliding around to palm Steve’s stomach. “You need to learn to relax.”

He was all encompassing, his breath on Steve’s neck, his voice in Steve’s ear, holding Steve in place with his hands. He could keep Steve here forever, leave him mindless and compliant. It was terrifying how much Steve wanted that.

“We’ve been over this. I know when to relax.”

“You’ll be a better knight if you learn to stop moving as though you’re awaiting the next blow.” There was a smile in his voice, his thigh tensing against Steve’s. He was so close. Steve felt his body start to respond, heat coiling in his center as his cock took interest. “You need to learn to let go.”

“If I don’t focus, people get hurt. People die.”

Thor’s hand tightened in Steve’s shirt. “And this is all on your shoulders?” Steve paused, turning his head to find his gaze. “Are we not a team? Do we not face every battle together?”

“Yes, but I’m the captain.”

“Then you should know better than any of them that being in control doesn’t make any difference when it’s your time to go.” His eyes softened, along with his words. “It’s hard… having so many people depend on you. That’s why nobody wants to do it. Sometimes, you feel as though every loss is on you, even if you did the best you could.”

Steve’s throat tightened as he cleared his throat and focused straight ahead. Thor’s grip tightened on his shirt, pulling him closer. “You need to learn when to give up control.”

Licking his lips, Steve rasped, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

+

Steve tended to use the gym’s group shower when he woke up late in the night and found that he couldn’t go back to sleep. Usually, he got a workout in, washed up and went back to sleep. On this night, he wasn’t alone.

When he hung his towel on a hook, he found Thor standing two stalls away, the water beating down on him from above. His hair wet and sticking to his skin, untied and trailing over his shoulders. From his place several feet away, Steve could watch his muscles tense and relax as water rolled down his chest. He could see Thor’s arm working as his head fell back and he let out a low groan.

Within seconds, Steve realized what he was seeing and his face burned, the water running cold over his overwarm skin.

He tried to ignore it, keeping his eyes straight forward but, even so, he could still hear Thor’s breathy moans and he found his gaze straying. Thor’s eyes were closed, his lips shiny and wet, caught between his teeth. His face lax with pleasure, a hand pressed against the wall as he stroked himself slowly.

He seemed to be dragging it out, his skin flushed and red from the shower. He still hadn’t noticed Steve’s presence. Steve tried to drag his eyes away, tried to wash up quickly and get out of there but he found himself watching helplessly. Water streaming down his temples as he took in the way Thor easily gave himself over, his lip slipping out from beneath his teeth as he pushed into his fist. His hands were so big, Steve could only imagine the way they gripped his length. The thought of which brought him to his cock. The short wall came to Thor’s waist, hiding it from view.

Steve imagined it must be large -- thick and meaty, heavy in Thor’s hand. He imagined the head flushed and dark, dripping in Thor’s grip as he stroked himself. He could only imagine what it would feel like in his own hands, the weight of it on Steve’s tongue.

With a curse, Thor’s head fell back and his hand worked faster, a breathy moan escaping as he came. Steve flushed with shame, returning to the wall in front of him. He could hear Thor’s motions, the soft gasps escaping. Steve’s cock pulsed hard, insistent and curving up towards his belly. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to ignore it as he listened intently.

Finally, Thor quieted, a hand slapping against the tile wall as the water ran. Steve risked glancing over and met Thor’s gaze. He’d figured Thor would be embarrassed or, at the very least, attempt to cover up. Instead, he flashed a grin, his eyes dark.

“Captain. I didn’t expect to find you here.”

A pause. “Yeah,” Steve said awkwardly, his voice rough.

Thor waited but when Steve didn’t say anymore, he added, “It’s the best stress reliever, don’t you think?” He grabbed a bar of soap and ran it over his chest. “Though, I usually don’t have an audience.”

Steve swallowed, willing his body to calm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize – I should’ve said something.”

Thor closed his eyes, tilting his head back as the water ran over his chest. “I didn’t mind.”

Steve dried off and headed up to bed, his heart beating fast as though he’d ran a few miles. He went through the motions getting ready for bed, sliding beneath the covers and closing his eyes. He tried taking a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the heat pooling in his center. He was half hard, his he turned over on his side, trying to ignore it. He could still remember the quiet intake of breath as Thor’s hand paused and he spilled over his hand. With his eyes closed, he could imagine what it looked like, his length pulsing in his hands.

He wondered what would have happened if Thor had been in the stall right beside him. If he’d looked over and saw Steve aching and hard, stubbornly keeping his hands above his waist as he tried not to stare. Would he have made a joke about it, tried to keep the mood light? Or would he have encouraged Steve to join him? Would he have stepped into Steve’s stall and reached out for him?

His hand slipped beneath the sheets, sliding into his briefs as he took hold of his cock. Biting down a curse, his hand worked faster, slick and wet as his cock pulsed needfully, his stomach tensing. Thor was so much larger and so much stronger – a hot line against Steve’s back as he held him close. He was always around, the scent of him so familiar now, drawing Steve in.

Steve’s hands were rather large but Thor’s were even bigger, strong and calloused from handling his hammer. Steve could still remember the way they’d felt on his waist, gripping him tight and putting him into position. The way they’d made Steve feel _small_.

Gasping, Steve’s cock pulsed hard, spilling over his hand, the stomach and his sheets. His eyes snapped shut, pushing into his fist as he milked his release. He tried to stifle the soft sounds escaping, tried to think of anything – anyone else.

Even so, even shamed, the last thing he saw before he drifted off to sleep was Thor staring back at him, that dark hunger in his eyes.

+

Steve wasn’t avoiding Thor.

He was much too proud to call it that. After that night, he was too embarrassed to look the blond in the eye, fearing that he would somehow _know_. It was in the way Steve looked at him, in the way he shivered at every brush of his hands, the way his skin warmed when Thor was near. The way he couldn’t look at Thor without remembering the way he’d looked when he’d touched himself that night. The way he’d spent every moment since wishing he’d joined him.

He knew things were different in this time – these days, it wasn’t so uncommon for men to desire other men. It didn’t have to be hidden and shameful the way it was when Steve was growing up. It wasn’t perfect and Steve was under no illusions that, should the world discover his desires, they wouldn’t all be welcoming. Even with the comfort of knowing the team and quite a few members of the public would be supportive, accepting himself was an entirely different obstacle.

Thor could tell something had changed – he kept looking at Steve, eying him quietly during meals and at movie night. He’d clearly taken notice of the way Steve kept a careful distance between them, leaving spaces between them during debriefs and on the jet. He hadn’t said a word. Instead, he moved about as if nothing had changed.

+

Steve and Thor didn’t always see eye to eye on battle strategy.

Thor would argue Steve was too conservative, deciding on the “safer” course when a brutal offense would end the fight quicker. Steve would argue that Thor was used to working with larger armies – brute strength over strategy. In the end, none of that mattered when three Hydra soldiers because twelve and the Avengers came face to face with more of their enhanced individuals.

Thor and Tony took to the skies as Hawkeye tried to box in a few of them from above. Steve took a shot to the stomach, searing through his suit and drawing a pained cry before he could stifle it. Widow came in over the comms, “Cap, are you okay?”

The shield clanged off of a nearby pole, redirecting and slamming into Steve’s target. “I’m fine,” he huffed, climbing to his feet.

“I’ve got eyes on the ring leader,” Clint chimed in.

“Where? I’m on it!” Steve said, charging forward. Sliding across the pavement, he took out the knees of another soldier before rolling to his feet and continuing on.

“I’ve got it, Cap.”

“Hawkeye, we need your eyes.” When Clint remained silent, Steve cursed, heading towards Hawkeye’s last known location. “Hawkeye, come in!”

“Does anyone have eyes on Clint?” Nat asked.

“Iron Man,” Steve began when he caught sight of Clint dropping down into the city of the street. Racing forward, he called out orders, “Hawkeye, stand down! We don’t know what we’re dealing with here!”

Clint’s bow snapped.

Steve was seconds away when the street erupted in a bright white light. Shielding his eyes, a large band gripped his waist, yanking him backwards as all sound dropped out. His back slammed onto something hard, gravel tearing at exposed skin as a large weight settled over him. It was instinct to fight it, his heart pounding in his chest as adrenaline won out. But the scent was so familiar. He squinted his eyes open briefly to find Thor on top of him, his cape billowing in the wind.

Steve’s eyes snapped shut once more as the ground shook beneath them.

In the end, the target, (Nitro, as he called himself), had self-combusted.

The explosion would have taken out a full city block had Clint not gotten off a shot before Nitro had time to build up more power. Even so, he’d demolished two evacuated buildings and the force of the explosion had caused quite a few injuries from flying debris. Steve’s hearing had returned a few hours later with a slight ringing, but Clint’s had not. He was still in medical but, from the looks of things, he’d lost his hearing permanently.

Steve found himself taking the elevator down to the gym floor, heading to the shower room. Starting the water, he turned it as hot as it would go and stepped into the stall, not even bothering with his suit. Dirt, soot, grime and blood turned the water a dark brown before it ran clean, his suit weighing heavily on his body. The weight of it drove him forward, his head lowered as he rested his hands on the wall.

He hadn’t had a chance to look in a mirror but, from the way the team had carefully averted their eyes, he got the sense he wasn’t all that pleasant to look at. He took a few deep breaths, each inhale making his chest tighten painfully with the effort. He could still feel an ache in his ribs where Thor had crashed into him, his hip sore and torn from the pavement. When he closed his eyes, he could still see Clint racing forward, dread chilling his blood when he realized he wouldn’t get there in time.

His breath quickened, eyes warming as he clenched them shut and tried to calm himself. If he’d been faster, if he’d been smarter, if he’d listened to Thor and made the first strike bigger and drawn the fire towards himself. If he’d been a real leader, if he’d been a real Captain. If he’d known better than to trust that Clint would see a target and let Steve handle it. Clint was stubborn, always had been. So much like Bucky.

Cursing, Steve slammed his fist into the tile with a loud crack, resting his forehead against the chilled surface. There was a quiet sound beneath the water and his eyes shot open. Thor was standing in the doorway, still in his armor without his cape. Taking in Steve’s appearance, his mouth firmed as he strode forward, his face unreadable. He stepped into the stall, scanning Steve’s face. Slowly, his eyes softened.

Steve turned towards him. Water dripped into his face as he waited, heart beating fast in his chest. Thor reached out, touching Steve’s cheek softly. His thumb smoothed over Steve’s cheek, over his lips gently. Steve’s stomach tightened nervously, breath catching as blue eyes met his, searching briefly. Then he darted in, taking Steve’s mouth demandingly. Fingers slid into Steve’s hair, gripping it tightly as Thor pressed him against the wall. His tongue slipped inside, finding Steve’s as he opened for him readily.

Burning from the inside out, his fingers slipping along Thor’s slick armor as Thor plundered his mouth, leaving him powerless to follow. Water beat down on them from above, quieting the soft sounds escaping Steve’s mouth as he held Thor close and took his tongue. The rough scratch of Thor’s beard, the forceful grip of his large hands on Steve’s waist and in his hair, all it drew Steve further in, their hips joining in the center. He’d never been kissed like this, _owned_ like this.

He wanted so much more.

Thor bit sharply at his lip, pulling away. Steve panted, his eyes falling open in a daze. Thor’s eyes were dark, focused on Steve’s mouth as he licked his lips. His fingers tightened in Steve’s hair, kissing him once more before he stepped back.

Steve watched him go, the water running cold.

+

They didn’t speak of it.

They moved around the Tower like two satellites caught in the same orbit, the same track, moving at the same speed, and never colliding by some luck of the draw. Just missing each other every morning and at night. At times, Steve wondered if he’d imagined it. After all, why would Thor be interested in him at all? He hadn’t even known Thor was interested in men. Then again, Thor was often thought of as an enigma.

After losing his mother and his brother in quick succession, he’d been more somber than he’d been the first time Steve had met him. Less quick to laugh, rarer to smile. He’d kept to himself a bit more and the team silently agreed not to speak of Loki when Thor was around. Steve had found him sitting alone on the helipad from time to time, gazing up at the stars like they held the answers. Sitting down beside him, Steve spent several hours following his lead, if only in hopes that he might learn more about the man sitting beside him.

And in some ways, maybe he had. Because if there was one thing Steve understood, it was pushing through the pain; saving grief and regret for a later day.

Clint returned to the Tower, bandaged with crutches in hand. Steve could barely stand to look at him, the guilt too heavy on his heart. He kept to himself mostly, going for runs, staying in the office, working out in the gym. He knew the others were concerned but it was better this way. Steve wouldn’t have to see that look in their eyes; the moment when they realized he would fail them all in due time.

On this day, he was working the punching bag when the door to the gym opened. Thor entered, padding barefoot over the mats, shirtless as he tied his hair back. Steve’s eyes fell to his stomach, watching his abs tighten as he moved. Warming, Steve returned to his punching bag. He worked as long as he could before he gave in to temptation, catching the bag as it swung towards him.

Thor was standing in the center of the mat, his arms crossed, waiting. Sighing, Steve wiped at his face with a towel and moved towards him. Thor smiled softly, getting into position.

It went like every time before: Steve making of for his weaker strength with speed. It seemed nothing had changed, Thor dodged everything Steve had to throw at him. There were a few surprises, times when Thor tried to advance only to find Steve slipping out of his grip. It felt like a game of cat and mouse, one that Steve was pretty sure he wanted to lose.

In a flurry of motion, he planted his foot on Thor’s thigh and wrapped his legs around Thor’s neck, a move Natasha had taught him. His thighs tightened around Thor’s shoulders as he brought him down to the mat with a breathy laugh. Thor’s hands tightly gripped his thigh’s, the feeling leaving Steve flushed as his cock hardened. Steve tensed as Thor moved upward, rising up over Steve’s body as he planted his hands on either side of Steve’s head.

Breathing heavily, his eyes dark.

“That’s a dirty trick,” Thor rasped, lowering himself down. His breath misted over Steve’s lips. “Put me right where I want to be.”

A hand came down to palm Steve’s throat as he crushed their mouths together, swallowing Steve’s groan. His hand came down, sliding underneath Steve’s shirt and tugging at it impatiently. It came apart in pieces, tossed aside as a finger brushed over a hardened nipple. Steve’s breath quickened, his hips rocking upward as Thor took him apart with his hands.

Perhaps Thor’s weight should have felt overwhelming, but it only added to Steve’s pleasure. Held down, his head falling back as Thor gave him what he needed, without Steve having to ask. His head fell back, soft keens escaping as Thor’s hard cock pressed hard against his thigh, leaking wetly. He took hold of Steve’s chin, holding him still as he sucked on his tongue, his hips snapping forward.

Steve was so close, heat pooling in his center as his legs spread wider, welcoming Thor in. It was so easy to imagine what this would feel like with nothing between them, Thor’s cock bare and pressed against his ass. Thor’s large hands on his thighs holding him open as he buried himself inside. Breaking him apart in every way Steve had been afraid to ask for.

A sharp bite to his lip pushed him over the edge, a hand on his hip as he shuddered and spilled between them. Thor ground against him, pulling up to watch closely as Steve’s mouth fell open and he shook apart. Steve slid his fingers into Thor’s hair, tugging lightly and earning a quick intake of breath, Thor’s eyes darkening. Curious, Steve tugged harder, his cock pulsing as Thor rut against him greedily. Steve gripped it with both hands, taking Thor’s mouth as Thor’s hard bulge pressed insistently against Steve’s ass. Groaning, Steve spilled a bit more as Thor held him still, snapping his hips roughly as he came with a low grunt. He dragged Steve against him as though he weighed absolutely nothing in his arms. His beard scratched against Steve’s throat as he buried his face in it and worked through it, needy groans escaping.

When he came down, he bit softly at Steve’s throat.

+

It began that way.

Steve would never approach Thor in the open or dare ask for it. But when Thor found him in the gym, Steve could pretend they were only sparring. Until Thor reached for the hem of his shirt and Steve found himself on his back again.

He remembered Thor’s words that night, about it being the best stress reliever. At times, Steve could truly believe that.

His back slammed into the slick shower wall, a laugh escaping as Thor pulled him close, strong hands on his waist. They’d never done this bare; no thin layers of pants and underwear between them. Every brush of Thor’s bare cock against his thigh excited him. He’d been right: Thor was huge, his cock heavy and soft against Steve’s as he pressed against him.

Thor liked kissing, drawing it out whenever he got the chance. Reaching down, he took hold of Steve’s cock, stroking it roughly a few times. His half hard cock brushing against Steve’s stomach as he worked him, sucking on his tongue. Steve leaned against the wall, giving himself over easily. Thor’s hands were calloused and rough, hardened from years of war. Dangerous hands that had only ever made Steve feel safe. Knowingly tracing Steve’s veins and swiping over the slick head to make him shiver.

Keening, Steve broke their kiss as he bucked into Thor’s hand. It didn’t take long before he was spilling into Thor’s fist, gasping into his mouth as Thor tightened his grip. Relentless, bordering on cruel as he milked Steve of everything he had to give. Finally, he let go, lapping at a few drops on his wrist, his eyes dark and teasing. Steve groaned, taking his mouth as he took hold of Thor’s length. Heavy and hard, jerking needfully in Steve’s hand.

Steve pushed him back, carefully falling to his knees. Thor’s eyes darkened, stomach tensing in anticipation as Steve stroked him slowly, admiring the sight of it. Meaty and thick, the head flushed a dark red and leaking steadily with every stroke. Mouth watering, Steve’s eyes fell shut as he leaned in and let the smooth head slide over his tongue. Thor groaned, the sound rumbling through the large room as Steve gently sucked. Heavy on his tongue, the taste drawing him to take more in. Suckling, he rose up on his knees, holding Thor’s hip as he took more of Thor’s length.

A hand touched his chin, drawing his eyes open. Thor gazed down at him, face flushed, lips bitten and red as he watched. He was barely keeping it together, his cock pulsing hard in Steve’s hand as a spurt of precome dribbled onto Steve’s lip. He lapped at it, earning a soft moan as Thor smoothed his thumb over Steve’s lip. He pressed down gently, pressing the head to Steve’s lips. His mouth fell open as he slowly pushed inside, careful not to give Steve too much. Steve’s eyes fell shut once more, head pressed to the wall as Thor fucked his mouth.

Controlled, obedient, owned, and in service.

It was everything Steve wanted.

+

It was a wonder the team didn’t suspect anything.

As they sat down for dinner, Steve wondered what they would think if they knew. If they’d think Steve capable of such a thing; if they’d think him weak. If they’d think it shameful that, at times, he only found peace in letting someone else lead the charge. His eyes swept over the group, landing on Thor’s briefly before his face warmed. Thor’s eyes glittered in the dim light, the corner of his mouth turning up. Steve bit down a smile and returned to his food.

“What are you so happy about?” Tony asked, kicking back in his chair.

Steve blinked, setting down his fork. “Nothing.”

“You’ve been all smiles lately. Clearly something’s cheered you up.”

Thor grinned, leaning back in his chair. Steve cleared his throat, replying, “Maybe I’m just adjusting to the future.”

“Maybe,” Tony said doubtfully, muttering, “maybe someone finally got laid.”

Bruce choked on his food, coughing as Clint whacked him hard on the back. “Tony,” Natasha chided, a brow raised. “Leave him alone. It’s cute.”

Tony frowned at her. “You know, don’t you?” Her brow rose further. “You sneaky little minx. You finally set Cap up with someone, haven’t you?”

Natasha shook her head, her lip quirking. Steve pointedly kept his gaze on his food, taking up his fork again. Thor’s hand landed on his thigh.

Steve had just started the dishwater when Thor came to stand behind him at the sink.

Steve caught his scent, warming in seconds. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to concentrate. Thor leaned in, his breath hot against the nape of Steve’s neck. “Need some help?” he asked, his voice rumbling through Steve’s body.

“Sure,” Steve rasped, turning his head as Thor came to stand beside him, brushing his hip as he passed.

Steve picked up a soapy plate, wiping at his face with his wrist. “So, uh, thanks for that back there.”

“For what?” Thor asked, rinsing the plate and drying it carefully.

“Not saying anything about,” his face burned, “this.”

Thor set the plate aside and took another. “I got the sense you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t but…” he trailed off, trying to find the words. They worked silently for a few moments, finishing up when Thor cleared his throat.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Thor turned towards him. “We’re simply enjoying each other’s company.”

Steve dried his hands, lost in thought. A hand touched his hip, drawing his attention. “Are you not enjoying yourself?”

Licking his lips, Steve nodded. “I am.”

Thor came up behind him, pressing against his back. “Part of me wants to keep this a secret because I don’t want anyone else seeing you this way.” His arms curled around Steve’s body, his palm landing on his stomach. “The way you give yourself over to me every time.”

Steve shuddered, his head falling back as Thor lifted his shirt, his right hand working his belt open. The zipper came down, the cool air against his skin. They were in the kitchen, in full view should anyone come in for a scoop of ice cream or a late-night snack. Steve should be concerned about that but, as Thor’s hand wrapped around his length, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

“In these moments, I know you better than anyone else ever will,” he breathed, stroking him firmly. His thumb playing in the mess of precome dribbling out of the slit. “Even knowing that, I still want more.”

It took a moment for his words to sink in. “More?” Steve breathed, his eyes falling shut.

“There’s so much more.” He struck up a rhythm, a laugh rumbling through Steve’s body as he gave himself over and let Thor take his weight. “I want to taste you,” he kissed a spot behind Steve’s ear, earning a shiver. “Spread you open on my fingers,” his lips fell to the nape of Steve’s neck as he worked his hand faster. “Bury myself deep inside you.”

Steve gasped, a spurt of precome dribbling over Thor’s fist. His breath warm on Steve’s throat, his voice low. “You’d like that.” Steve’s cock pulsed, his breath leaving him in heavy pants as he bit down on his lip and tried to keep quiet. His hips bucked into Thor’s grip helplessly, Thor’s hand on his stomach keeping him close and still. “You’ve been asking for someone else to take control.”

Gasping, Steve’s head fell back as his vision whited out and he spilled in Thor’s hand with a keen. Thor kissed his neck, his chin, working him through it. Shuddering, Steve’s hands moved from the sink to Thor’s forearms, stomach tensing with every pulse, overwarm in Thor’s arms.

It was always like this – fighting the need for this, the urge to succumb to it. The desire to let Thor lead.

The desire to let himself be small.

+

Steve asked JARVIS once, after Thor pressed him up against a wall in the kitchen, taking his mouth. Steve had pulled away with a nervous glance at the ceiling, hissing, “What about JARVIS?”

Thor had humored him, slipping away with a promise to meet Steve later in the showers. Steve had taken a few deep breaths to calm himself. After, he’d cleared his throat and called out, “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers.”

“Do you have eyes in every room of the Tower?”

“Yes, sir. For the purposes of ensuring the safety of all of its inhabitants, Mr. Stark saw fit to outfit every room with surveillance technology. In the interests of respecting the privacy of my charges, I refrain from sharing anything that is not relevant to security to Mr. Stark.” A pause. “You do not have to worry about me sharing what happened here today with anyone else. Or any other day.”

Steve had been red faced and too embarrassed to offer anything else but a quiet “thank you” but it had been a relief. Even more so now seeing as they had a week of having the Tower to themselves. Steve had been looking forward to it.

Now, he sat naked his bed, the covers bunched at his waist. Thor hadn’t bothered, sitting across from him bare and unbothered by it. At Steve’s fond eyeroll, he laughed, the sound warming Steve immensely.

“What?” Thor asked.

“Nothing.” At Thor’s brow raise, he smiled. “Nothing. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Thor hummed, digging around in their stolen treasure and pulling out a strawberry. “It’s hardly my first time here.”

Steve watched him take a bite, the juice staining his lips red briefly. His mouth watered in response but he forced himself to focus. “What exactly do you get out of this?” he asked, drawing Thor’s eyes. “Our… arrangement.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“You could have anyone you want.” He swallowed nervously, licking his lips. “It just seems like you could do better than sneaking around the Tower with me. Having to hide all of this.”

Thor studied him for a moment, the corner of his mouth quirking. “It would seem, yes.” He tossed the stem aside, picking up another strawberry. “When I lost my mother and my brother so suddenly, I felt as though nothing I could ever do with my life could make up for what I lost. It was my fault because I wasn’t there to protect her and I failed to protect my brother. These were both things I couldn’t control.”

He moved in closer, the scent of him drawing Steve in. His eyes pained, his face drawn. “When I feel overwhelmed, it helps to remind myself that there are still some things I _could_ control.”

“And I’m one of those things?” Steve asked slowly.

“Not quite,” he offered a smile. “But I see so much of myself when I look at you.” He reached out, tracing Steve’s temple. “Trying so hard to control things you have no power over. Trying to lead when you’re breaking underneath the pressure.”

Steve softened, leaning into Thor’s hand. “So, you feel sorry for me?”

Thor shook his head, cupping Steve’s cheek and tracing his lips with his thumb. “I wanted to help you, then I wanted to understand you. And now,” he leaned in, his eyes darkening as his breath misted over Steve’s lips, “I really like seeing the look on your face when I touch you.”

Their lips touched, soft, barely there. Steve’s eyes closed, a steady thrumming coursing through his body. Thor pulled back, kissing him once more before his eyes opened. “We have a lot in common, you and I. You have the heart of a warrior,” he nosed into Steve’s throat, “and the love of a king.”

Steve’s heart beat faster, face flushed as he murmured, “I thought you were a prince.”

“I was born to be king.” He pushed lightly at Steve’s chest, watching him fall on his back. “And when I am, I will remember this time with you.”

He held up his hand, eyes darkening as Steve bit into the strawberry. He followed him down, chasing the taste.

+

It was shameful.

Steve had been taught that, growing up. Bad enough he desired men, even worse that he let himself be taken. Those thoughts infiltrated every time he gave himself over to this – no matter that he’d touched another man and let himself be touched. They’d gone no further than using their hands and their mouths. It was a weakness but he hadn’t crossed that line.

Now, he kneeled in front of Thor on the bed, arms above his head as Thor pulled his shirt off. He kissed his shoulder before tugging Steve’s briefs off and tossing them aside. Shivering, Steve let Thor push him down on his front, a nervous fluttering in his stomach. He’d been thinking about this for nearly a month, each time with less and less hesitance.

A broad palm spread out along his left cheek, causing him to jump in surprise for a moment. Thor took hold of the right, spreading him carefully. Flushed, Steve held still as he waited, his heart pounding. Then he felt warm breath mist over his entrance, the realization making his face burn and his cock pulse hard between his stomach and the mattress. Surely Thor wasn’t going to—

A firm, wet warmth ran over his rim, lapping at it a few times and getting it slick. Gasping, Steve gripped the sheets, shaking as Thor held him tight in place and stabbed the tip of his tongue into his center. Thor leaned in closer, his heat spreading as he lapped and sucked at the rim, his beard scratching along Steve’s sensitive skin. Groaning, he buried his face further inside as Steve squirmed and tried to fight the grip keeping him from rubbing against the sheets.

His cock pulsed hard, aching and dripping where it was pressed uselessly against the mattress. He spread out as much as he could, pushing back into Thor’s tongue as it dipped further inside his hole. This was filthy and messy, Thor paying no mind to anything but trying to take Steve apart with his tongue. Steve had never even known that this was something you could do and now he was pushing back into Thor’s hands trying to get more of it. More of that clever tongue, those strong fingers spreading him open, that sharp scratch of his beard that Steve knew he’d feel for hours afterwards.

Thor pulled up for a moment, panting wetly before something thin and blunt pressed against Steve’s slick entrance. It slipped inside slowly, working in and out gradually and driving Steve crazy. He huffed, trying to relax and will Thor to go faster. It felt like ages before his thick finger pushed slowly inside. Steve let out a soft moan, shifting in place as Thor pumped it in and out carefully.

He pressed his lips to Steve’s left cheek, murmuring, “Relax,” a smile in his voice.

He kissed him once more before continuing on. He worked carefully, taking his time and taking Steve apart beneath his hands. He tongued the rim as Steve squeezed tight around his fingers, pulling them out and burying his face inside once more. Steve pulsed around his tongue, taking more of it greedily, his face burning with embarrassment. But he didn’t stop, arching up as much as Thor would allow chasing that slick, wet heat and that clever tongue.

Slipping in a third finger, Thor twisted them, brushing a spot that sent sparks down Steve’s spine. Gasping, he waited for Thor to do it again. He pumped his fingers inside carefully, his thumb smoothing over Steve’s rim but he seemed to be avoiding that spot. It took what felt like ages for him to brush it again, and only as he removed his fingers. The bed shifted as he moved around, stripping off his clothes before he climbed on the bed once more.

Steve’s nerves ratcheted, tensing reflexively in anticipation. Thor’s hand landed on his hip, gripping it tight as he pulled Steve back towards him, his warm cock brushing Steve’s inner thigh. With a quick intake of breath, Steve tried to relax as the blunt head of Thor's cock pressed against his slick entrance. Pushing in slowly, Thor’s thumbs smoothed over the indents in his lower back gently. It helped calm Steve some, relaxing as Thor carefully entered him.

Even thicker than Steve had imagined, than his fingers could have ever replicated those nights spent alone in his bed. It must’ve been agony on Thor to go slow but he was painstakingly careful, his breathing growing heavier by the second.

Steve didn’t think it bothered him at all, but then he paused, a strangled groan escaping before he rasped, “If you had any idea what this feels like.” Panting, he tightened his grip on Steve’s hip as he tried to calm himself.

Licking his lips, Steve shifted as much as he could, listening to Thor’s breath hitch. With intrigue, he pushed back slowly, eyes falling shut as he got his fill. Inch by inch, feeling every bit of it, he took Thor inside as carefully as Thor had managed before. When he bottomed out, Thor’s grip was near painful on his hips, quiet murmurs filling the space between them.

Groaning, Steve’s fingers twisted tight in the bedsheets as he tried to get used to the feeling. He’d never been so full – his own fingers, Thor’s fingers, nothing could compare to having Thor buried deep inside him, nestled in so tightly it felt as though he’d never leave. A part of Steve in a way no one else had ever been – Keening, Steve tightened around his length, his cock pulsing wetly beneath him, dribbling onto the sheets.

“That’s a dirty trick,” Thor chided gruffly, his thumbs smoothing over Steve’s skin.

“You were taking too long.”

Thor huffed out a laugh, pushing him forward a bit and pushing in experimentally. With a few careful strokes, he let Steve get used to the feel of it. Each withdraw drew a low moan, sparks shot down his spine with every thrust. Steve didn’t’ think too hard about what this said about him; that all those men back home and in base camp had been right about him. He didn’t think too hard about anything but how good it felt to have Thor in control, how good it felt to be full.

How good it felt to feel small.

Thor’s arms came down on either side of him, reaching for Steve’s fingers where they were tearing at the sheets. Entwining their fingers, he curled over Steve’s back, folding him in. Eyes shut, Steve breathed in the scent of his skin, the taste of salt in the air as Thor snapped his hips forward, brushing that spot deep inside. Crying out, Steve’s fingers tightened around Thor’s, sparks going off behind his eyelids.

“Oh god,” he panted, a sobbing breath escaping as Thor moved faster.

Steve could feel every thrust, every slight shift in movement as though they were one being. Molded to his body so that nearly every inch was covered with Thor’s body, every breath in line with his own, every sound echoed. His hips worked tirelessly, relentlessly, working that spot inside of Steve until everything melted away and all that mattered was chasing that heat coiling in his center.

He was so close, he could taste it. Thor spread out, pressing his hands to the mattress as he pushed deep inside. Within seconds, Steve’s grip tightened around his fingers, vision whiting out his cock pulsed hard and spilled along the sheets. Crying out, his knees weakened as Thor easily took his weight, holding him close as his hips snapped forward, working him through it. Each thrust drawing more and more of Steve’s release, his eyes wet as he quickly lost himself. A stream of mindless pleas spilled from his lips, falling forward on his elbows as Thor chased his orgasm.

Shuddering and spent, his mouth fell open against the sheets, his cock jerking weakly with every thrust. Overloaded and overwhelmed, he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted it to end. His toes curled, a sobbing breath escaping as his cock released once more and he tightened around Thor’s length. Cursing, Thor’s hands tightened around his own, his face pressed to the nape of Steve’s neck as he buried himself in and spilled, messy and hot. Groaning, Steve squeezed Thor’s hands weakly as he filled him, his breathing wet and hot on Steve’s neck.

Finally, his hips slowed, a few lazy thrusts as his breathing calmed. Pulling Steve into his arms, he turned on his side and nosed into the spot behind Steve’s ear. His arms across Steve’s chest as he thumbed over the back of his hand. Wound together so tightly Steve couldn’t figure where he ended and Thor began.

For a moment, just a second, Steve felt… settled.

Still nestled inside, Thor pressed a line of kisses down Steve’s throat. “Beautiful,” he murmured, kissing the shell of Steve’s ear.

Chest tightening, Steve squeezed his hands and closed his eyes.

+

Steve certainly wasn’t perfect.

He wasn’t prone to recklessness, but on this day, he’d thought he had everything under control. The team had been spread out as a strategy. Thor hadn’t agreed initially, but he’d complied. Over time, he’d grown to trust Steve more in the field and Steve wanted to believe it was trust in his role as a leader. But he could never really be sure.

Everything seemed to go just fine until a shot to the stomach put Steve on his back. Within seconds, they were on top of him, too many to count. Hydra’s enhanced soldiers, each with inhuman strength. They held his arms and tore at his suit. What little protection he’d allowed built in was quickly ripped away. He kicked out, knocking a few away as one landed on top of him with a dagger.

He had a second – just a moment where he wondered how he could survive a plane crash in the ice, an alien invasion, a fight with a brainwashed version of his best friend, but he’d die in the middle of a New York street in daylight because a bad call.

The dagger was ripped away, as were the hands at his arms. Thor appeared, his face thunderous and flushed as he gripped Steve’s wrist and pulled him to his feet. He gave Steve a once over, his mouth firming as a crack of thunder sounded overhead. Spinning his hammer, he shot into the air, leaving Steve to deal with the few remaining soldiers.

He’d certainly hear about this at home.

To his credit, Thor waited until after the debrief.

He found Steve in his bedroom in the tower. Standing in front of the mirror in the corner, studying the torn scraps of his suit. Whatever experiments had been done on that being, their fingers had ripped through his suit like it was made out of tissue paper. When his door opened, Steve didn’t have to wonder who it was.

The door closed with a slam as Steve turned around to find Thor standing there, still in his armor. His face twisted angrily, hand tightening on his hammer before he set it down beside the doorframe. His boots made heavy sounds on the hardwood floor as he crossed. He came to a stop in front of Steve, bright blue eyes narrowing as he scanned Steve’s face.

Steve’s jaw tensed, straightening up as he held Thor’s gaze. He refused to be made to explain himself – he was the captain. Sometimes he made a call and it didn’t pan out but it was his job to make decisions no one else could. Maybe he’d been wrong but he’d done his job. He had. He’d spent years doing his job. He refused to explain himself.

Even as his breathing started to quicken and his hands began to shake. Even as his heart beat faster and he found it near impossible to tear his eyes away from Thor’s. Thor’s eyes softened in response, his mouth quirking as he reached out a hand to touch Steve’s bare chest, brushing over the large gash across the center. His fingers curled, gripping the torn edge and yanking Steve closer.

Holding Steve’s gaze, he seemed to reassure himself of something before crushing their mouths together. A hand came up to cup the back of Steve’s head as Steve welcomed him in. Their legs tangling together as Thor walked him backwards, tearing at the useless suit impatiently. He came down on top of Steve, his mouth hot and demanding. Steve was bare beneath him in seconds, quickly losing himself in the slide of their tongues, the sharp bite of Thor’s teeth.

+

Steve had never been good at asking for things he wanted.

He’d hardly ever learned to ask for things he needed; too used to not getting them. He’d never known how to tell Bucky when one too many teasing jabs had hurt him. He’d never known how to tell his superiors when he’d had too much during basic training. He’d never known how to tell the Avengers when he needed time alone because the walls had started to close in and that bone deep chill had returned. Quite simply put: he was used to going without.

But with Thor, he found that, while he didn’t have to, it was safe to ask.

He didn’t ever belittle him or making him feel embarrassed for wanting something – for wanting this. He never treated him any differently. If anything, he rewarded Steve for asking. Extra care and attention, extra kisses, more those fond looks that made Steve feel like he was flying.

Now, he rose up on Thor’s lap, rocking down and taking him in as deeply as he could. After that first night, they’d done this as many times as they could get away with in the Tower. Steve hadn’t even bothered with his usual subterfuge, trying to ensure that he and Thor were never seen on the same floor at the same time. Why bother when the truth was so unbelievable, only JARVIS could know?

The bed rocked, the sound drawing a flush to Steve’s face as he rode Thor roughly. Thor’s lip caught between his teeth as he tried to stifle his low groans. It was different being on top, in control in a way Steve had never been between them. Watching Thor’s face grow lax as he slowly sank down on his cock, the way he stared up at Steve in awe, his thighs tensing beneath him. It made Steve feel powerful – and he liked it.

It didn’t take long for Thor’s brow to furrow, his mouth twisted as he shook, his hands twisting in the sheets. “I’m not going to last,” he panted, choking down a moan as Steve arched and took him deeper inside.

Thor reached for Steve’s cock where it was leaking wetly along his belly. “No, no,” Steve said, taking Thor’s hand and bringing it to his hip, along with the left. “Don’t need it. Like this. Just like this,” he breathed, riding him greedily.

Thor’s eyes widened in adoration, hands tightening on Steve’s hips before his eyes snapped shut. Bucking his hips, his cock pulsed hard in Steve’s ass as he came with a sobbing breath, Steve’s name whispered in prayer. Steve ground his hips down, taking all of it as he followed him down, spilling over his stomach and Thor’s hands.

A smile spread across his face as pleasure washed over him, his mind free and clear for the first time in days.

+

Thanksgiving came and the team spread out across the country.

Clint went upstate, Nat tagging along with him. Bruce disappeared, presumably with Betty. Tony went west with Pepper. It left Thor and Steve alone in the Tower. It was odd wandering the halls and being able to freely to touch.

Now, Thor watched Steve eat a spoonful of ice cream, sitting on the couch swimming in a hoodie that had one point belonged to Thor and had one point belonged to Donald Blake. When Steve had fished it out of Thor’s closet, the blond seemed a little conflicted about Steve wearing it. Not out any dislike for sharing, but because he didn’t like the idea of Steve wearing some other man’s clothes.

After some time, Steve glanced over, brows raised as he smiled around his spoon. “What?” he asked.

Thor returned the smile, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “I never thanked you for sitting with me all those nights.”

Steve nodded, averting his gaze. “No problem. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know if you wanted me there.”

“I didn’t.” At Steve’s face, he laughed, pulling Steve closer, his back resting against his chest. “Not at first. My brother caused a lot of people a lot of pain when he was,” his throat tightened. “I grieved alone for the better part of a year. Until you came to sit with me that night.”

His arm crossed under Steve’s, petting his chest as his voice rumbled through Steve’s body. “Thank you.” He pressed his lips to the spot behind Steve’s ear. “And thank you for this.”

Steve turned his cheek into Thor’s chest, taking his hand and squeezing it. Holding it up to his mouth, he kissed the inside of Thor’s palm. “I love you,” he murmured.

Thor stiffened, his breath catching. In his silence, Steve’s heart beat faster, his stomach twisting nervously. Thor’s hand cupped his chin, lifting his head so he could see Steve’s face. His eyes were soft and curious, searching Steve’s before he leaned in, his lashes fluttering as his eyes fell shut. Their lips touched, Thor’s thumb smoothing gently over Steve’s skin.

He’d said it once, Steve didn’t need to hear him say it again. Even so, the whispered, “I love you, too” made such a warm light expand in his chest and he couldn’t contain his smile. Even as Thor pulled him into another kiss.

+

Steve and Thor spent their week together.

Catching up on everything the team tried to convince them to watch. Curled up on the couch beneath blankets, Thor’s head in his lap as he carded his fingers through his hair. Napping in bed, Steve’s head on Thor’s chest. Breathing him in and letting his warmth and familiar scent lull him to sleep. Sitting at the table watching Thor mill around the kitchen making him breakfast. Sitting on the kitchen counter with his arms above his head as Thor tugged his shirt off and fucked him.

They had sex a lot.

On the couch, in Steve’s bed, in Thor’s bed, on the kitchen table, on the floor, in the gym. It wasn’t all that different from their time sneaking around, except Steve didn’t have to worry about making sure Thor made it back to his room before he was missed. He could curl up in bed, Thor’s arms around his waist as he drifted off to sleep. He could wake up warm and safe with Thor a line of heat pressed against his back. For a week, they could behave like a real couple. It was nice.

They still sparred. More out of pride than any real training.

Now, Steve landed on top of Thor, his thighs on either side of his head. Thor laughed, taking hold of him and arching upward. In a beautiful twist, he got Steve flat on his stomach, tearing at his pants. Steve laughed breathlessly, helping him toss them aside. Thor turned him over, climbing between his legs. Steve pulled the tie from his hair, sliding his fingers into it as he pulled Thor in for a kiss.

“You are relentless,” Steve murmured, helping Thor pull his shirt over his head. “This is just because I was winning.”

Thor hummed distractedly, spreading Steve’s thighs over his own as he pulled himself out. “You were not winning.”

“I got you on your back.”

Grinning, Thor bit teasingly at his neck. “You can do that any night.” He stroked himself reaching into his pocket for the bottle of lube he’d taken to bringing with him. “I could have broken out any time.”

“Then why didn’t you?” He sucked in a quick breath, wrapping his arms around Thor’s shoulders as his finger slipped inside. As Thor worked him open, he tried to keep track of his argument. “I know what it feels like when you let me win.”

Thor’s fingers curled, drawing a needy moan, Steve’s hips rocking downward to take more of his fingers. “Is that right?” He curled them deliberately, chasing more of those soft sounds from Steve’s mouth. “And what about now? Am I letting you win?”

Steve shuddered, his cock leaking wetly along Thor’s t-shirt. When Thor pulled him down on his cock, a low grown punched out of him, his face buried in Thor’s neck. Thor fucked the same way he fought – relentless and spirited, fully in control. His hand curled around Steve’s neck, his tongue finding Steve’s as he pushed into him. He twisted on the mat, getting Steve on his back as he snapped his hips forward.

Steve’s breath came out in heavy pants, barely stifled pleas. “More, god, give me more.” He arched, spreading his legs wider, a shuddering moan escaping as Thor took hold of his thighs and spread him even wider. “God, yes.” He writhed, stretching out, toes curling as he gave himself over. “I need more. Please, I can take more. So full, give me all of it.”

Thor obliged, the more Steve egged him on, the rougher he became. Holding Steve open for him as he buried himself to the hilt. Steve was lost in it, greedily begging for more. All thought fled save how damn good it felt to be full with Thor hitting that spot inside of him. It was all he cared about.

Neither of them heard the door open. Only the sounds of a heavy bag hitting the floor and a muffled curse.

“Holy shit, warn a guy!” a voice shouted.

Steve’s eyes shot open, panic speeding up his heart rate as Thor took a few moments to stop, his breath coming out in heavy pants. Eyes dark, he looked from Steve’s face to the man standing in the doorway.

It appeared Clint had come home early.

Steve rushed into motion, moving methodically. Thor pulled out, tucking himself in as Steve gathered his clothes and rushed past Clint into the bathroom. He could hear the muffled sounds of Thor and Clint speaking but he couldn’t care about that right now. He was going through the motions getting dressed, checking the mirror for any sign of what they’d been doing. There was a small bite mark on his throat that his collar wouldn’t cover. heart beat fast in his chest, hands shaking as he touched it.

When he left the bathroom, Clint was gone. Thor sat on the mat, his face flushed, a tent in his pants. He offered a bashful smile, standing up. Steve cleared his throat, backing up towards the door. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off, his voice breaking. “I should go.”

“Steve,” Thor began, reaching out. His eyes widened as Steve continued back away from him. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Away from here.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair, his throat tightening. “He just saw me…” he bit down on his lip, his stomach twisting violently. “I was begging you to – what he must think of me.”

Pained, Thor moved in closer, his stomach tensing, his pants loosely hanging off of his hips. “Why does it matter? Why are you so adamant that we keep this a secret?”

“I told you, I’m supposed to lead this team. How could they continue to respect me if they knew that I,” he took a shaky breath. _If they knew what I am_. “This was ours. Just ours. And now, Clint knows and it’s only a matter of time before Natasha knows – and Bruce and Tony and… I know things are different now, but a part of me still feels this _shame_ about wanting any of this.”

Thor’s brow furrowed, his mouth a thin line. “What’s shameful about making love to me?” His hands fell to his hips, his voice growing in vigor. “What’s shameful about wanting that? Or being with me or loving me?” At Steve’s silence, his words softened, wounded, “Tell me.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Steve replied quietly, covering his face. “I’ve spent my entire life hiding this part of myself because it would only cause me pain. It’s been _years_ of this. And you can tell me that no one will care or that those that do don’t matter, but that doesn’t change the part of me that doesn’t understand how I could ever let someone see me like that.”

Thor stood before him, his breathing heavy, eyes fierce and bright. If he walked out right now and never spoke to him again, Steve would have to understand. As much as it’d hurt, he had no right to ask him to stay. To… what? Go along with whatever attempt he made to convince Clint that he hadn’t witnessed anything here today? To return to secrets and hiding and sneaking around the Tower like they were having an illicit affair?

Thor crossed his arms, raising his chin as he stared Steve down quietly. Then, “You’re right, I don’t understand. I thought you better than to run away from a challenge.”

Steve’s eyes warmed, frowning in confusion. “What do you mean?” he rasped.

“You’re afraid, I see that. You’re worried that this fear will never go away, even with me here, even knowing none of this will change the way they feel about you. You’re scared,” he said, reaching out and resting his hands firmly on Steve’s shoulders. “I thought you better than to let fear control you. I thought you braver than that.”

His voice was weak, a small smile on his face as he tried meekly to goad Steve into rising to the challenge. The way he always had in the past. Steve took hold of his wrists, closing his eyes. “Maybe I’m not.”

“I know that’s not true. In the meantime, I can be brave for the both of us,” he said firmly, drawing Steve’s gaze. He cupped his cheeks, pulling Steve into a kiss, the taste of salt on his tongue. He kissed Steve’s nose, then his forehead. “I have a great incentive.”

Steve swallowed thickly, his chest tightening. “It’s going to take some time.”

Humming, Thor held him tight. “I can wait.”

Taking a deep breath, Steve wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist.

+

It took a few days for Clint to let slip what he saw.

For all of Steve’s suspicion that he’d told Natasha right away, she’d been just as surprised as the others when the news came out.

Steve and Thor had been sat next to each on the floor in front of the coffee table on Game Night. Bruce was passing out Monopoly money when Tony complained about Steve helping Thor cheat.

“It’s not fair!”

“He’s not from here, he doesn’t know how to play the game,” Steve said, leaning over as he helped Thor understand the card he’d drawn. “How fair is it if he has a clear shot at winning but he doesn’t understand the rules?”

“Natasha’s not from here, either. I don’t see you giving her private lessons,” he groused.

“Yeah, but that’s only because Thor gives him _private lessons_ on the side,” Clint added with a laugh.

Steve froze, eyes cutting to Clint’s in a snap. Clint’s eyes widened, mouth moving wordlessly as the rest of the team slowly looked over at him in confusion.

“It was a joke. I was joking. I do that sometimes,” he tried, focusing on the board.

Natasha’s head cocked as she looked from Steve’s face to Thor’s, to the lack of space between them. Bruce quickly averted his eyes, mouthing “wow” to himself.

Tony broke the silence. “Holy shit, you’re serious?” Steve’s mouth fell open, his hand curling into a fist on the carpet where Thor took it furtively. Tony covered his mouth, an excited gleam in his eyes. “I mean, I knew you’d been Mr. Cheerful the past few weeks but I didn’t think – holy shit, way to go, man!”

Steve’s face burned, sure he’d heard him wrong. “’Way to go?’”

“Dude, Thor’s hot. There’s not a single woman in the tri state area that wouldn’t sell their first born for a chance to hit that. Except maybe the lesbians.” He returned to the board, shaking his head. “Man, I did not see that coming.”

Steve let out a slow breath, Slowly, everyone’s attention returned to the game. Thor rubbed his back, hugging him gently. When the rest of the team took a break to get more snacks, he pulled Steve in and kissed his temple. “Are you alright?”

Steve nodded, chewing on his lip. After a beat, he shook his head, “I’m not sure. It still feels weird.” Thor kissed his cheek, the scratch of his beard calming Steve and drawing a smile. “Thanks.”

There was a quiet sound and Steve looked up to see Clint sitting on the couch across from the table. “I’m sorry.” Steve started to wave him off but Clint shook his head. “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t my place to say anything. It just slipped out but, that’s no excuse.”

Steve wasn’t quite used to Clint’s sincerity. He nodded once, watching as he moved back to his place on the loveseat.

The rest of the team returned. Bruce took his turn, trying to keep Tony from stealing money out of the bank. Natasha threw popcorn at Clint as she leaned across the table. Clint caught it in his mouth with a smug grin. Thor pulled Steve into a hug, trying to follow the rest of the game.

It all felt so normal.

+

It took a while.

One morning, Thor made pancakes for the team. He sat down with his own plate beside Steve at the breakfast table. Natasha mentioned the Stark Gala later in the month, Bruce tried to make an excuse to get out of it. Steve laughed, sipping his orange juice. It was a light moment, and he was happy. When he set his glass down, he didn’t even notice reaching for Thor’s hand. Then Natasha’s eyes fell to their joined hands on the table, the corner of her mouth turning up briefly. Steve froze, his heart ticking up a beat.

Then Thor squeezed his hand, Tony stole a piece of his bacon and the moment passed.

He kept holding Thor’s hand.

A few weeks later, he kissed Thor on the helipad after a mission. He’d thought they were alone but Bruce was nearby on the phone with Betty. Steve apologized but Bruce just waved him off with a kind smile, returning to his phone call. He’d been too flustered to do anything more than let Thor lead him down the hall by the hand, his lips tingling a bit.

Two weeks later, Steve and Thor attended the Stark Gala.

They got all dolled up in tuxes Tony had sprung for. Thor didn’t quite understand the garments but he liked the way they looked, especially on Steve. They’d nearly missed riding with the team in Tony’s limo because Thor had taken one look at Steve, pulled him into his lap and tried to strip him down. They’d climbed in half an hour later, Steve carefully avoiding the knowing looks on everyone’s faces. He’d gotten used to them over time, but they still brought a flush to his cheeks.

When the speeches were over, Steve and Thor snuck out to the balcony, closing the doors behind them. They had the area to themselves, the chill of the night air making him shiver a bit. He stood at the railing, feeling Thor place his jacket over his shoulders. Smiling in thanks, he returned to the night sky.

“I never understood why you liked to look at the sky here. There’s too many lights down below. We can’t see any stars.”

Thor slid his hands in his pockets, a smile on his face. “I know what’s up there. Even if I can’t see it.”

“Is this a metaphor about faith?” Thor bumped his hip, smile widening.

“Something like that.” He rested his elbows on the railing. “If you knew what was out there, you’d understand.”

Steve nodded. “I can only imagine.” He moved in closer, resting his cheek on Thor’s shoulder. Thor wrapped an arm around him, trying to rub some warmth into his arms. “It’s your home.”

Thor kissed the top of his head, murmuring, “One of them.” He rocked him gently, resting his cheek on the top of Steve’s head. “I’d like to show you one day.”

“All the golden apples and magical rainbow bridges?” Thor laughed softly, humming in agreement.

He kissed Steve’s head once more as his eyes fell shut. His voice fond and warm as he added, “There’s still so much I have left to show you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note, what Clint did was very very not cool. I wanted to make that clear. Regardless of intention, even apologizing afterwards, it's a really crappy thing to do to anyone. 
> 
> [Come visit me on tumblr!](https://capn-shellhead.tumblr.com/)


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